The past few weeks I have been contemplating many things but haven't really been able to express them. All last week I was very excited about my good friend Kristina's son Jonas anticipated arrival home. I am always excited when someone's child comes home but I knew this time was going to be different. Different in the sense that his homecoming signified the "second wave" of children coming home from the orphange...a wave that a few of us have been eagerly awaiting as we hope to be a part of it by our children coming home.
I think those of us who are adopting from Haiti have seen by now that there is no rhyme or reason as to how you progress through the process. Although you have some sense of an "order" in your head...it usually gets blown out of the water by something totally ridiculous. The same is true for the timing of when the children come home. Although your file may be ahead of someone else's when you go into MOI, it's quite possible that for whatever reason, they end up passing you somewhere along the way, & their child(ren) come home first. So knowing this, I'm trying not to set myself up for a "fall" because "technically" it looks like my children should be the next ones to come home to our area (after Noah).
So I am guarded but also very hopeful because even if my children don't come home next, I know they will be coming home "soon" (whatever that means :o) As soon as I walked into the airport yesterday I knew I was going to lose it...and I did...big time. Even before the plane landed, I was getting choked up & fighting back tears. After Jonas came through & I had taken some pictures, I just "lost" it. I was flooded with emotions & cried like a baby. Phoebe just looked at me like "Mom, what's wrong with you?" I explained to her that Jonas was the first of several home comings to take place over the next few months & that Shakira, Samara, & Caleb will be a part of that. That after all of our waiting & praying, that they will be coming home in the near future. She looked at me like, "Okay, I got it. Why are you crying now?" That's a good question. I don't really know but I guess it needed to come out. I have a feeling that the day they do come home, I will not be able to talk, I'll be too busy crying...happy tears to replace all the sad, lonely tears that I've cried for them over the past two years :o)
6 comments:
Oh Kathy, I am right there with you... weeping! And unable to fully explain. Full of joy AND sorrow. Full of anticipation AND longing. I cried like a baby watching that homecoming video- as soon as I saw the plane on the ground! Even while the camera was showing the floor- just to hear the excited chatter... It was too much. In fact, I only "allowed" myself to view it once. I knew I'd cry the rest of the day if I watched it again. These last 5 months of nothing but bad news and empty promises is starting to really wear on me. I HATE that it's been even longer for you and Lara. Praying for ALL of TAs. I love you!
I hope you hear something very very soon!
I would love to get plugged in with the "E" families that have/are adopting from Haiti.
Yes, it was emotional for me as well. Seeing Jonas run into Kristina's arms brought me great joy, but was also a reminder of what we've lost. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions. Praying your family is all together "soon".
Growing from the past, holding onto hope with the current and looking forward to that WONDERFUL day in the near future! Praying for you Kathy~
Hoping for good news for you. It is hard when others fly right by. We are all happy for them but wish we were with them.
Thanks Cara, Stephanie, & Sarah!!! You're prayers & encouragement are a God send!
Amanda...the whole group tries to get together a few times a year. I'll let you know when our next get together is.
Kathy...yeah, I don't think anyone is "flying by" in this process but a certain order does develop. Even the older kids knows who "should" go home in what "order" & they get upset when it doesn't happen that way. It's just a hard process.
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