It is time!

December 23, 2012 will mark the 2nd year anniversary of my Christmas miracle.  Many of you know about it but not all of you know the details.  I was pretty much speechless at the beginning & that's why I did not write about it.  Then as time went on, I cherished it in my heart but still was not able to form words in print.  I could talk about it but not write it.  I'm not sure what caused the "writer's block" but I did not press the issue.

Now as the 2nd year anniversary approaches, I am compelled to write.  It's not an easy task because of the emotional weight it carries as well as the sensitivity that needs to be expressed to those involved.  One day I will write a book about my childhood.  I will not write it to point blame or shame to others but to give glory to God.  I will write it to share my testimony of how God can use many "messed up" situations for His glory.

One of the "messed up" situations was the relationship between my father & I.  My parents divorced when I was very young.  I was raised by my mother & had minimal contact with my father from year to year.  I graduated from high school & began attending a college in the city that my Dad lived in. I was hoping & praying that this would be the start of a better relationship.  I was wrong...very wrong.  What resulted was a 22 year period of no contact from my Dad.  That in itself could be a book.

Fast forward to 22 years later to December 15th, 2010.  I woke up that day feeling awful.  Not physically but emotionally & mentally.  It's a feeling that haunted me all day.  It was my Dad's 70th birthday & I had no idea if he was dead or alive.  The hope of us ever reconciling on this side of heaven was fading fast & I found it almost unbearable.  As I cried out to the Lord for relief, I heard him say, "Try to contact him one more time."  I was taken back by his response.  I was thinking, "Why?  He's not responded in all these years.  Why should I think he would respond now?"  Again I heard him say, "Try to contact him one more time."

I dabbed away the tears & with determined resolved set out trying to find out where he lived.  After a couple of hours on the computer, I had a current address & some other information.  Now I could proceed but I had no idea what to say or how to say it.  I prayed to Jesus to help me.  I then did what I felt he was leading me to do which was to send him a package which contained a Christmas letter with a sentence or two hand written from me, some pictures, & a box of chocolates.  I went to the post office & mailed the package.  For some reason, from the moment that I dropped it into the slot, I knew I was going to get a response this time.  But the response I was expecting, was not the response I got.  I was expecting a call from my Dad saying that he was 70 years old now & it had been too long & to let it go....click.

For 22 years I had prayed many things.  First & foremost, that I would forgive & not let bitterness & anger grow in my heart.  Second, I prayed that my Dad would come to know the Lord & third, I prayed that we would be reconciled if not on earth, in heaven.  God's answers to those prayers came full cirlce on December 23rd, 2010 when my phone rang around 1:30pm.  I will never forget that call.

I looked down at my phone to see an unfamiliar number with no name listed.  I immediately recognized the area code as being the same area code as my Dad's.  This was it!  The moment of truth.  I took a deep breath & then answered the phone.  I was totally surprised when I said, "Hello," & a woman's voice replied.  I then learned that the woman was my Dad's "companion of 11 years" as she put it, & who is now my step mom.  After her & I talked for awhile, my Dad got on the phone.  To this today it's still surreal when I think about it.  It definitely wasn't your typical conversation between a father & his daughter, but it was heavenly to me.

That call was a road to recovery & to a restored relationship, neither of which would have been possible without God.  You see, the first two things I prayed for, especially the first one, was essential in what happened.  If I would have had even an ounce of bitterness or unforgiveness in me regarding our situation, the restoration would not have happened.  The reconciliation could have, but not true restoration.  The second thing, my Dad knowing the Lord, made the reconciliation & restoration so much sweeter!  He is not the same Dad & I thank God for that!

Now as my Dad approaches his 72nd birthday I am reminded that our time together is short.  I don't know how much more time we will have together, but I know this....I am thankful for every minute of it....and I love him very much!