that left our home exactly ten months ago today. Ten months ago our three Haitian children came home. It is a day that I will never forget...barring that I still have my memory :o) It was day that we waited a very long time for. It wasn't the "sunshine & fairy dust" day that some families have when their children come home but we weren't expecting that any way. We had no idea how our special needs Shakira would react to coming home. She actually bounced off the plane & was extremely happy. Caleb however, was very sick when he got off the plane so what should have been a very "upbeat" moment for me, was put aside as I went into nurse/mom mode to make him feel better.
Most of you who have been reading my blog since the children came home, have a pretty good picture of what life's been like for us since then. I don't tend to "sugar coat" things & pretty much say it like it is. Overall, the first six months were pretty painful for all of us...kind of like growing pains that don't let up for six months. We started to get into a "groove" in the seven & eighth months but seemed to be "grooving" in a three steps forward, two steps backward pattern. The last couple of months have been the best so far but it just "hit" me yesterday...that something is missing...and that missing puzzle piece...is PEACE.
Our home has not really been peaceful since they came home. You can understand that in the beginning when everything is so new & different & each person is learning how to adjust to this new life on their own terms. I woke up this morning thinking, "Okay, today makes ten months, it's time for things to be different...to be peaceful."
Yesterday was not a good day for 5 of the 6 of us & everyone woke up this morning wondering what kind of day it would be. After Randy left for work, I gave a "speech." I just "laid it all out there"...talking to all of us...but to the "Creole Trio" in particular...that they have been home for ten months now & it's time for them to start taking responsiblity for making our house a peaceful place again. Yes, I know that I was talking to a soon to be 3 year old & a special needs child, but you know what, they understand a lot more than we think they do, & it was proven by an immediate change of attitude & even a "sense" of peace flooding our house. Thank you Jesus!
So my encouragement to the "older" adoptive parents that have had their children home for awhile & are still struggling...is hang in there...keep praying...& ask God to show you how to bring peace back into your home. Do not let yourselves get caught up in a "competetion & comparison" of the children that came home after the earthquake & seem to be "sailing along" compared to our children when they came home. You need to look at the "whole picture." This time last year, Jack & Marcia became the Orphanage house managers. That was a huge blessing! For the first time, the children were living in the presence of a Godly, loving, happy couple. They began to see what parents look like on a day to day basis. Unfortunately, my children only experienced two months of that. The ones that came home in Jan. had ten months of that.
They also had six months of home schooling. After seeing the delays of my children & other children that had come home before mine, I was pretty convinced that six months of homeschooling wouldn't even make a "dent" in the significant delays...but boy was I ever wrong! I am amazed...as well as extremely thankful that those children got the incredible schooling they recieved under Abby's instruction! It would have been wonderful for my children & the others to have gotten it as well but they didn't so we work with what we have. God will bless us & our children for our determination & perserverance....we just have to keep on keeping on :o)
Praying that you have a peace filled day!
3 comments:
Praying that the peace just keeps flowing!
Thanks for posting this :) Love ya!
Okay, you wrote this for me, didn't you?! ;)
Thank you for pointing out the effects of homeschooling and living with a couple that children who came home earlier did not get. I hadn't really considered the effects of having Jack & Marcia instead of just a single female.
Our kids have lots of problems, the main one being their lack of English. They can't even answer the simplest questions such as "How are you?" They know WHAT to say, but the actual words mean nothing to them. What's your favorite color? Blank stare. They do speak ALL DAY LONG, but it's not English, just babble. Hard to believe we're still nowhere with language after 10 months. And without any real understanding there we can't even begin addressing other issues that require the ability to understand basic English. So, we just keep pressing on. Most people want their children to stay little, but I can't wait for ours to be a few years older so we can actually communicate with them. We're still in "aliens we babysit" mode.
Thanks for sharing your heart and the truth that things aren't always pretty and easy post-homecoming.
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